I'm 38 years old, and the next time I rupture my Achilles tendon, I'm going to tell people that I did it while protecting the kids from a bear that had wandered onto our property, or if I'm speaking to a bear rights activist, that I did it while protecting a bear from my children, who were encroaching on the bear's natural habitat.

Either way, I won't tell people that it happened because I was tackled while playing flag football. Otherwise, I'll be called all sorts of things, from "weekend warrior" to "typical middle-aged male" to "buffoon in a light beer commercial." And those are just the characterizations from my mom.

For all future medical mishaps, I'm going to lie about the circumstances to protect my dignity and standing in the community (although currently, being fresh out of surgery, I'm not as concerned about my standing as I am getting to and from the bathroom).

Opting for a more honorable reality of the circumstances surrounding an injury is just one of the lessons I learned after becoming the victim of another's criminal disregard for the "no tackling" rules that govern our society (such as no tackling in flag football, no tackling the person giving the eulogy, no tackling the Dalai Lama).

My first thought, as I lay on the turf, flopping on the ground just like a fish with a ruptured Achilles tendon, was not that there could be a positive outcome of such a tribulation. But long after I'd hobbled onto the road of recovery, long after I'd sailed through the treacherous waters of today's medical establishment, long after I'd tiptoed through the emotional minefield of a slow recovery process, it occurred to me. This was an opportunity not only to display my ability to string together cheap journey metaphors, but also to share what I've learned about coping with an injury.

As your journey to a healthier you begins, you may find it beneficial to do your own research, as this will allow you to ask the doctor relevant questions.

Fortunately, today's patient has a powerful tool, the Internet, for researching not only the potential cause of the ailment, but also treatment alternatives.

For example, I quickly learned on the Internet that at least one society minimized aging-induced injuries by eliminating those nearing adulthood, which had the side benefit of appeasing the Corn God (Sen. Ben Nelson from Nebraska?).

Wait a minute. That's the plot of Stephen King's horror story, "Children of the Corn."

This brings up an important point: Conduct Internet research with someone who's not easily sidetracked.

My wife Tricia and I began to research together, and Tricia soon concluded that this never would have happened had I stayed home with her and cleaned the garage.

Although true, this observation did nothing to shed light on my ailment, so I went back to doing research on my own.

In the end, I learned that I had either ruptured or strained my Achilles tendon, or that I was the victim of a shark attack. Due to the limitations of Internet-based diagnosis, I eventually sought the advice of a medical professional, and you should, too.

After receiving a doctor's evaluation and suggestions for treatment, consultation with loved ones, even family members, may help you evaluate options and recuperative strategies.

For example, after my father heard that I was going to have surgery, he shared with me his experience with a ruptured Achilles tendon which heretofore I was unaware. As I came to learn, in the past people were more resilient and heartier, and when my father had the same injury back when he was in college, all he needed was a few weeks in a cast to fully recover. (This ability to spontaneously heal oneself is now considered a pre-existing condition and precludes medical insurance coverage since it is a waste of resources to heal someone who is perfectly capable of healing oneself.)

Incidentally, if there are any politicians studying how to reduce the nation's medical costs, I think it would be in the country's best interest to take my father into custody and probe him until his spontaneous regenerative capabilities can be understood and commercialized. Having not inherited my father's recuperative abilities, I opted for the course of action recommended by my doctor.

After treatment or surgery, it's important to be patient with the recovery process and tend to both physical and emotional needs.

Defining physical needs is straightforward and can be done by a physical therapist or doctor. Tending to emotional needs may not be as easy.

The Internet, books and crossword puzzles may help keep the mind active, but remaining emotionally engaged with others is important, as well.

My 6-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son have been a blessing in this regard. They have been thoughtful enough to fabricate a seemingly endless quantity of arguments that require my intervention. Themes include such classics as "that's mine / no it isn't," "give that back," and "stop it."

Initially, admonishing them while lying in my bed was enough to end a conflict, but they are precocious, and sensing my disengagement, they stopped heeding my shouts from the bedroom.

Conflict resolution now requires that I get out of bed, hobble down the stairs on my crutches and intercede in person. My children's innate understanding of my emotional needs makes me want to burst into tears.

As I have progressed from dependent patient to a valuable member of society again (loosely defined), I hope my insights have been useful to you.

It helps to be an informed patient, and the Internet is a wonderful tool for educating oneself. My only suggestion to the person running the Internet is to provide preventive information for middle-aged males to make them aware that a) if they play flag football at 8 a.m. when it is 30 degrees, and b) if they don't stretch beforehand, and c) if they haven't engaged in such an activity in 15 years, they might be prone to injury.

Also, I can't emphasize enough how important it is to consult with loved ones, even family members, about treatment and recovery options.

Finally, remaining emotionally engaged during the recovery process is a must. If you need energetic children to help, I know of two who are practiced in the art of conflict generation.

Cartoonist Rob Rogers does "Rob's Rough," an early look at his work and his creative process, exclusively at PG+, a members-only web site of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. Our introduction to PG+ gives you all the details.