Chris Chojnicki was always one flight from a family fix.

The Brookline woman would think nothing of flying to Chicago and Atlanta and California four or five times a year to see her aunts and cousins for reunions and graduations and birthday parties.

But now, Ms. Chojnicki vows never to board another commercial airplane because of the expense and the sheer hassle of flying.

"I don't feel like I have a family anymore," said the middle-aged woman. "It is just telephone and e-mail. I cannot participate in functions, like 'Let us all go to the beach.' "

As much as she misses her relatives, she cannot stand flying anymore. "You are forced to take off your shoes and walk on a filthy floor. ... This is the kicker, where you are sitting on the tarmac with no air-conditioning and you have to go to the bathroom, and they won't even let you take off your seat belt and go to the bathroom. I cannot begin to tell you how rude the airlines are."

Ms. Chojnicki's decision to clip her wings and forgo family reunions may be an extreme reaction, but many people are weighing how many times a year to visit a grandchild or a sister or a mother.

For years, the American family, often separated by the wide-open spaces of big country, stayed together via the cheap weekend flight.

But soaring jet fuel prices are changing the carefree nature of air travel and the very nature of family get-togethers.

"The very young and the very old are perhaps the first to be affected," said Emily L. Stevick, a clinical psychologist in Mt. Lebanon. "But the grieving relatives who cannot afford, for example, to get from Pittsburgh to Denver when a grandson dies suddenly, or the celebrating aunts and uncles for whom the time, the trials and the money to attend a wedding in Portland are now out of reach."

And it's unlikely that the aggravations of flying -- rising fares, canceled flights, stranded passengers, add-on fees, even the elimination of in-flight movies on some US Airways flights -- will go away anytime soon with the airlines struggling under the weight of record fuel prices, said Rick Seaney, chief executive of FareCompare, a consumer airfare research Web site.

"If anything it is going to get worse," he said. "As we speak it is getting worse -- Northwest just announced it will match a $15 first bag fee."

The last-minute flight to Phoenix or Tampa for a brother's surprise birthday party is suddenly expensive.

"People got really spoiled in the last five to 10 years," Mr. Seaney said. "They could wait for the last minute and really get a good deal. Now they find out, instead of $250, the ticket is $800. People have to change their buying behavior. They have to shop four months ahead if they want a good deal."

Especially tough on seniors

Then there are the add-on fees and new restrictions, which can be trying for anyone but especially bewildering for a senior traveler.

At the quilting table of Lifespan Hillsdale Senior Center in Dormont, Mildred Corrigan, a 77-year-old who is rarely at home and always on the go, is daunted by flying alone. She lets her grandchildren come to her.

"It's not knowing what to do -- taking my shoes off. I brought a bottle of water because I need water for my pills. I am not sure if you are going to be charged for a bag. All that crazy stuff. Before you just flew. I am afraid I am going to get too confused."

Barrie Haynes, the 73-year-old senior companion coordinator for the Dormont senior center, knows a lot of people her age who won't fly alone. Above the murmur of a bingo game, Ms. Haynes discussed the travails of flying alone to see her children and grandchildren in California and Australia. She used to visit each child twice a year, but now usually visits each child only once a year, and has decided not to visit some friends.

She has always loved to fly, soaring through the clouds and feeling the world get larger.

But on her recent flight to California to visit her daughter, she felt as if she was compressed into a foxhole.

"I swear, they shrank the plane," she said. "If you wanted to cross your legs, you had to grab onto your pants to get your legs to move. I couldn't get my jacket off. There was no room to maneuver. I have never been so uncomfortable. The glamour is gone, that is for sure."

In another flight that stopped in Newark, N.J., she was forced to lug her bag up a stairwell herself. "It leaves a bad taste in your mouth."

She is debating whether to fly to visit family in Australia, a long trip that she has postponed until 2009. "I keep putting things off. But at my age, I want to see my family now."

So does Mary Evers, 52, who lives in Wexford, and does not visit her elderly parents in Florida as often because she can no longer find inexpensive flights to Tampa.

"I don't see family as much as time goes on. It is a shame, My family is all scattered. My son is now in Portland. It has made it more difficult to stay together."

She also worries her parents' traveling days are numbered because of the rigors of flying.

"Every time they have flown up, there have been some change in regulations. This time, they paid extra for bags."

And they can no longer do curb-side checking without paying a fee. They can't lift their bags into the overhead compartments. "It wears them out. They worry about missing their flight, long layovers."

"My mother said she would do it anyway. But it gets harder as you get older. ... I envy those people who live close to their family."

So do Mark and Justina Overly, of Elizabeth. They used to travel with their 4-year-old daughter, Kristina, to the Philippines, Justina's homeland, every two years to see her family, pouncing on the $800 deal or $2,400 for three round trip fares. But they can't find anything for under $6,000 for three tickets, making a trip to relatives impossible.

"We are going to go home every five or six years instead of every two years," said Mr. Overly, 42. "It makes it hard on a family. My mother-in-law hasn't seen her grandchild since she was 1."